Happy Endings by Margaret Wood, interpretation.

I decided to do my interpretation on ‘Happy Endings’ by Margaret Wood. This story has 6 different parts/endings to it. Each part leads into different aspects of a relationship and the dynamics of a relationship. I decided to do my focus on a particular part/ending of a happy ending, that gave me the most trouble and maybe the most interpretation I was able to find.

1. I will focus my attention on Part A and Part C of the story.

            Part A: John and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile and remunerative jobs which they find stimulating and challenging. They buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they can afford live-in help, they have two children, to whom they are devoted. The children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and challenging sex life and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations together. They retire. They both have hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging. Eventually they die. This is the end of the story.

            Part B: John, who is and older man, falls in love with Mary, and Mary, who is only twenty-two, feels sorry for him because he’s worried about his hair falling out. She sleeps with him eve though she’s not in love with him. She met him at work. She’s in love with someone called James, who is twenty-two also and not yet ready to settle down. John on the contrary settled down long ago; this is what is bothering him. John has a steady, respectable job and is getting ahead in his field, but Mary isn’t impressed by him, she’s impressed by James, who has a motorcycle and a fabulous record collection. Freedom isn’t the same for girls, so in the meantime Mary spends Thursday evenings with John. Thursdays are the only days John can get away.

John is married to a women called Madge and they have two children, a charming house which they bought just before the real estate values went up, and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging, when they have the time. John tells Mary how important she is to him, but of course he can’t leave his wife because a commitment is a commitment. He goes on about this more is necessary and Mary finds it boring, but older men can keep it up longer so on the whole she has a fairly good time.

One day James breezes in on his motorcycle with some top-grade California hybrid and James and Mary get higher then you’d believe possible and they climb into bed. Everything becomes very underwater, but along comes John, who has a key to Mary’s apartment. He finds them stoned and entwined. He’s hardly in any position to be jealous, considering Madge, but nevertheless he’s overcome with despair. Finally he’s middle-aged, in two years he’ll be bald as an egg and he can’t stand it. He purchases a handgun, saying he needs it for target practice—this it the thin part of the plot, but it can be dealt with later—and shoots the two of them and himself.

Madge, after a suitable period of mourning, married an understanding man called Fred and everything continues as in A, but under different names.

2. This text needs to be interpreted because it has such complexity and different layers that are portrayed within the character development of the story. The density of a relationship are observed in Part C and the story further dives into a bit of what one may hope and what is the reality, but is it reality? It makes you questions love, commitment, freedom, and what is true love and true commitment and true freedom? Where are the boundaries? Are there any boundaries? Is love really just about being the outer things as mentioned in Part A? Like the job you have, the amount of children, and your ‘worthwhile friends’, your house, is this what measures a marriage and/or love? A lot of questions began popping into my head as I read and re-read the two parts in the story. I t really made me think of what a contradiction we humans make a relationship. We say we want one thing, and yet our actins do not always follow up with what we want. We say we want ‘stimulating and challenging’ marriages, but are we willing to put in the work? What is ‘stimulating and challenging in a marriage/relationship? How are those values going to set a foundation for a marriage to truly work?  Now, work isn’t that what a marriage often is? Isn’t that what the word ‘challenging’ is referring to? The questions just keep on approaching my mind as a go through the text and try to find what the author is really trying to allow her readers to understand. It boggles my mind and makes me searcher deeper within the text for the answers.

3. A central theme of this story is centered on love, marriage, commitment, and reality vs. desire. I will begin by exploring Part A and then Part C, then contrast/compare both sections.

            Part A of the story illustrates, to me, a ‘happy ending’ that many of us imagine when we are growing up. First you find the love of your life, and then you go off and get married. Then further on, you two buy the perfect house, have the perfect jobs, simulate and challenge one another, have kids, save, and retire while all being happy. I mean why not? Margaret Atwood portrayed this part of the story very well, of the fantasy and hope many of us have when it comes to marriage. I began to look for patterns within this part of the story and realized the following words kept reappearing ‘worthwhile, stimulating, and challenging.’ With worthwhile appearing twice, and stimulating and challenging showing up 3 times within the one little section. I feel as if the author did this on purpose, by showing that her ‘perfect’ type of marriage was something that was worth pursing. That marriage should make you feel challenged and stimulated so that you do not get ‘bored’ and not maybe want to go off and sleep with someone else. That seems to be the reason many men and women sometimes go off and cheat on their wives, is because they do not feel like theses key components, that I believe are vital in marriage to feel like you are worth it, to be stimulated and challenged.

            Part C paints a picture of what, sadly happens in some marriages, that often the spouse is not getting that ‘worthwhile, stimulating, and challenging’ marriage they wanted. So they often try to go and find it in someone else that is younger and can make them feel even more powerful. Even the twenty-two year old Mary, did not feel worthwhile for her boyfriend James, so she slept with a balding middle aged man, John, to get ‘stimulated’ sexually, it seems in this case. However, Mary was not ‘impressed’ with him or in ‘love’ with him. It’s ironic that the mistress is the one who feels such emotions; usually the cheating spouse feels these emotions. Further more, the author brings up the word ‘freedom’ and that this ‘freedom’ is not the same for girls, as for guys. This shows that society is not fair, and the expectations they often put on girls as well. I think, that the author is also portraying that girls’ freedom is different from guys’ freedom. Girls often want to be ‘impressed’ by their men, and to feel loved and stimulated by them, for them this is freedom. However, men work on a different level, they can have all the toys they want, like a motorcycle, and that is their freedom. It’s quite funny though that James ends up using his freedom, the motorcycle, as symbolized in the story, to ‘impress’ Mary and then Mary’s freedom of being intimate are meet together. Maybe that is what the author is trying to get across, that marriage needs to take both partners working together for the same goal. That his and her ‘freedom’ should meet and ‘challenge/ stimulate one another. I wonder. Diving more deeper we look at John, and it seems that the reason he sleeps with Mary and cheats on Madge is because he finds her challenging and stimulating. He continues to keep talking to her about commitment, which shows that he is struggling with his own commitment to his marriage. John does not seem stable, he is taking what his wife is not giving him and putting it on a twenty-two year old who herself is not stable to keep that relationship going. So when John finds that Mary is with someone else and kills all three of them illustrates that there is so much depth to the human need for love, commitment, and freedom. This happens way to much society. A relationship cannot only survive on love, it does need to be stimulated and challenged. Maybe not on the material things in our lives, but the deepest core of a relationship

4. The evidence I support in this text is from the constant repetition of words that I observed and connections I made with the words to make connections. In Part A : “The both have worthwhile and remunerative jobs that they find stimulating and challenging.” Then, “John and Mary have a stimulating and challenging sex life and worthwhile friends.” Further on, “They both have hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging.” Then in Part C “… and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging, when they have the time.” Also when I discussed the freedom part, “But James is often away on his motorcycle, being free. Freedom isn’t the same for girls, so in the meantime Mary spends Thursday evenings with John.” Going along when talking about John having commitment issues and yet struggling with it is portrayed in the following quotes, “John on the contrary settles down long ago; this is what is bothering him.” “…he can’t leave his wife because a commitment is a commitment.”

5. This interpretation matters because it picks at the text and tries to find the meaning of what the author says. Maybe someone else’s interpretation may provide different meaning and/or light. Yet it illustrates the core of what I believe the author is trying to show her audience. With the constant repetition of words and phrases, that marriage is not what everyone thinks it to be. That it takes work, time, and true commitment. That a marriage is not just stimulated challenged to be worthwhile by what we have but by the work we put into one another. 

The Temple of The Holy Ghost

This story, honestly, was not one of my favorites at all. It felt dry and as if the author was simply writing down her thoughts without a coherent flow. Reading the Flannery O'Connor's biography gave me a better understanding of the reading presented.  "Many of her stories draw characters in cartoonish ways, a whimsical, and sometimes cruel, way of seeing humanity." I'll say that is very true regarding this story.

The title does not seem to fit and at the same time it does a little. I would have to say I was a bit deceived by the title. I thought the story would be more about positive aspect. The child had a very negative view of these two girls that were called Temple 1 and Temple 2. However, looking back at the authors style of writing it did not surprise me after.

The child, who was 12, seemed to think highly of herself, and thought the girls, who are 14 were morons. That seems a bit harsh. I mean they are 14 years old and are only teenagers. Therefore, teenagers have a different mentality then say a 25 year old. However, the child was 12 and it seemed that she was the judgmental making such harsh statements. Maybe, that is even cruel of me to say. We often view things from our perspective and are quick to make comments and remarks based on little evidence of the whole situation. It's like they say everyone can tell the same story, but you will get a different image every time.

Further on The Fair seemed to contracted a Temple of the Holy Ghost in a way with the 'freak' was both male and female. It's interesting that the freak said not to laugh that God allowed this happen, and it's not his/her fault. It definitely stuck out to the child. It made you think twice about how grateful you are to have the Temple, body, you have.

When the child talked about prayer and how we get distracted, I do agree that sometimes your thoughts do wonder when you are praying. Being at the chapel and kneeling in prayer seemed to be a place where she could finally get her thoughts out and not be distracted. This illustrates the power of Gods house. How often do we get distracted with our own selfishness and desires and judgmental thoughts that we forget to look at ourselves, and take out the speck in our own eye.

The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas

This story was one of the first ones that I've read in class where I struggled to get through in the beginning and then as I made my way towards the end, the strong statements and reasonings made my mind go into so many directions.

At first, this place, Omela sounded like a fantasy land for people. It was a place where no one had to feel guilt or shame. They could have all the fun, drugs, beer, orgies, no wars. With no consequences. I mean I won't lie that sounds like something that people desire, but maybe not admit all the time. Maybe not desire but I'm sure those thoughts have crossed someone's mind in form or another. I was a bit shocked reading that honestly. I kept thinking, yeah right whats the catch? There has to be more to it then meets the eye.

My others thoughts initially were like, wow this story is a drag and can someone please let it end.
Then, when I began to read the paragraph describing the basement my attention was immediately in tune. I mean here we are hear these joyous things that go on in Omela, and you're like okay good for them, and yeah right type of attitude. As soon as you read about the child in the basement your heart cannot help but break and wonder how that child is down there? and if this place is so perfect then how could the people of Omela treat a child like this? It mad be very angry. Further when the author describes people who come to visit the child, who is beaten and neglected, shows that the people were in disgust. I was outraged! I kept thinking, what in pete's sake?! Afterwards, as the purpose of this child was described/revealed, I felt disgust and a million and one thoughts ran through my head. Is there no other way? Why let a child suffer so that others can have such prosperity? This reminded me so much of pragmatism point of view. Do what's best for me!

Also, I could not help but compare the child's suffering to Jesus Christ suffering for us. The price had to be paid for our sins to be forgiven, so that we can live and be free even though we sinned. God's love and everything that He does for his children surpass so much understanding. Jesus was beaten and kicked and spat on and even the images on the television do not portray the full image of his beatings. My heart breaks because it was my sin that put Him there.

"Yet it is their tears and anger, the trying of their generosity and the acceptance of their helplessness, which are perhaps the true source of splendor on their lives." This is such a profound statement and it made me have a bit of compassion for the people in Omela. Without pain and suffering, how can we know true joy and happiness and prosperity? Without sacrifice how can we know true love?

However, these people are selfish in my eyes, as well. I applaud the people who walked away from Omela because it was not an easy task to do. But to let a chid bear the pain of consequences was ethical and morally wrong in my point of view. We need to take responsibility for our actions. With that responsibility I think will be much greater gain than feeling disgust and anger towards someone else. Feeling the pain and sufferings of rejection as a person, just like Jesus felt, and overcoming those obstacles builds true joy.

A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings

This short story was very interesting to read. I honestly could not put the book down until I finished it. There was so much depth and meaning that one can take away from Marquez piece.

The story started out a bit sad, and it seemed that the family was going through a lot of struggles with their family. Like the child being sick and the constant crab problem that seemed to be a never ending task.

Then they find this angel/old man, which was not viewed in a good light. They seem to treat and mistreat this 'fallen angel'. It seemed to paint this picture of agony and pain, that the family was going through at the time, the angel does. Its interesting that even though they did not want to the angel there, the family still took care of him. Maybe not as well as they could have. Its kind of like having to carry someones burden and live out other peoples consequences. You don't want that pain, and ugliness but you have to deal with it. Just as the family had to deal with this angel. No matter what they constantly saw that this old man had human features and something in their hearts could not let him go.

"His only supernatural virtue seemed to be patience." This illustrates something that we humans seem to lack on our lives. Cause man the torture and pain that this angel was inflicted was not fun. It sort of reminds me Jesus in a way, of how we mistreated Him. Hmm.

Eventually the family was able to come out of their hardships and the angel eventually was able to fly and gain strength. It's like He represented their misfortune but at the same time gave them a way out by having people pay to the see this angel. As soon as, the family was able to come to stability in their lives the 'annoyance' left them... of being unstable. And at the same time the old man brought them prosperity. Maybe thats why Elisenda kept looking when the old man flew away, because he represented soo much and at the same time he seemed to have carried their burdens away.

Response to Mary Oliver poems and short essay

I read the poems while on my visit to Lake Bonny park this afternoon. It was quite relaxing and very beautiful wording. The poetry was very calming and painted an image of nature and God tied together. I agree with Professor Corrigan that Poetry is Prayer. I never really put it in that aspect before until recently. I love journaling it brings such peace and clarity to my mind when I pray to God. It helps me focus and not get side tracked and I feel a bit more closer to my Jesus. Sitting and mediating are very productive. I guess in a way it is poetry whether I realized it or not... hmm.

My favorite poem by Mary Oliver is titled "Walking Home from Oak-Head" because it reminds me of home, Syracuse. "There is something about the snow-laden sky in winter in the late afternoon." That is beautiful. I loved looking out at fresh, clean, crisp, fallen snow... It sparkles with such innocence and brilliance, and clothes the ground with a new white clothe. How amazing is Gods creation in that?! How marvelous are his works! The coldness that comes with the snow brings your lungs to a fresh taste of clean air.

I always stand and amazed at our beautiful creator every day when I look around. Even being down here in  Florida, God shows me beauty in such small and detailed ways.
Just like the clouds are not just clouds, they paint an image and entertain us.

"Oh, feed this day, Holy Spirit, with the fragrance of the fields and the freshness of the oceans which you have made, and help me to hear and to hold in all dearness those exacting and wonderful words for our Lord Christ Jesus, saying: Follow me." Mary Oliver from 'Six Recognitions of the Lord.' This is a cry for my heart and I feel for my hearts. Those words pierced through my heart. Being with the Lord is truly the best feeling in the World! No matter what the heart is going through and no matter what situations are presented Jesus gives peace beyond peace and understanding. His love runs deeper then the rivers and oceans. His love goes beyond patience and obedience.

Overall, this poems spoke to my heart :)

Field Trip to Lake Bonny Park

I went to Lake Bonny Park and stay there for 1 hour. Enjoyed some DD and walked and read Mary Oliver and pondered. It was a good experience, very calming. 

Poem:

 Sitting here observing the grass and tress

Makes me wonder

About God and Life

Beauty is marked not just by the physical

But through the wind and the air

Its crispness against the hot skin

Hair flying around the face

Shade provided by the trees

The sun kissing my skin

Like a sweet kiss

Is welcomed with warmth and love

A smile appears

Birds singing

  Children playing

    Breeze blowing to cool the air

Thank you Jesus 

  For your beauty

Whether I see it

From the outside or inside

Thank you for Nature!

Field Trip to Circle B

What a day it turned out to be! God was totally on our side when He with held the storm when we did the tram ride at circle B. As soon as I started to drive out it started to rain.

The trip itself was pretty good. It was interesting to learn about the different birds and the reserve. This did help bring better to light to sit and ponder the poem "The State of the Planet." It was good to reread the poem and look at what others thought of the poem when discussing it in class.

To learn to calm down and actually calm down brings peace and understanding. That this planet is given to us by the artist Jesus Christ. He gave us this Earth to take care of it. Just as those who work at a museum and upkeep it and not destroy the artist artwork, we humans are to upkeep and take care of the artwork that God has given us and not destroy it. Unfortunately we take that for granted. Everything in nature has its checks and balances. Without one thing, such as the swamps, the ecology system is off balance. God is an amazing creator and I continue to stand in awe of HIs works and wonders. He designed everything so perfect and beautiful for us to enjoy. Just as Robert Hass has seen the beauty of the Earth just in a glimpse of his poetry.

Also, when rereading the poem I was able to recognize that Hass input sexuality comments with nature, which made you a little shocked and pay attention a little more to what was being said. "It turns out that they are electricity having sex in an infinite variety of permutations." That was interesting to read and put atoms in a different light for me. With my major it made it actually pretty entertaining and a bit cute to read.

Overall, the trip was beneficiary in sitting and ponder and looking at birds. It gave a better picture of nature and brought the poem to a little different light then just sitting in a classroom by reading and just taking about nature. Seeing it gave a different dimension/perspective which was good.

State of the Planet

This poem was a very detailed by imagery of words; as well as, ardor and revulsion filled. The title "State of the Planet" illustrated what this poem was about, where the planet is and more about the sad fact of where it is and headed due to the fact that the human race is unable to take care of it because lack of care and/or understanding of it's beauty or simply that they are in denial and think that ignoring the problem will make it go away.

The beginning of the poem began to paint the picture of earth being angry and/or agitated with the girl in October, with the 'rain lashing the windshield'. Painting an image of a schoolgirl, that when you think of a schoolgirl you think innocence and nothing could happen to her, but her hair is flying everywhere. Her red backpack getting wet. This is strong imagery which I can interpret as the Earth lashing out unto humanity for the way humanity has treated Earth. In way God lashing out on us. Which is without respect and dignity, according the author. At least that is what I understood. The book "getting to know the planet", which the schoolgirl is holding paints a picture of how we humans need a book to tell us about the planet we live because of our 'hunger that is metaphorical'. Just like the spilled milk that was 'accidentally spilled' but she was not really hungry.. hmm. That shows how we claim that we care about the planet, but when the omissions that are given off by our vehicles go into the air are not 'intentional' yet we still do it.

I can tie this into our walk with God at times. He gives us the natural resources and beauty of his life and yet with our hands we can either build it up or destroy it.  That's a lot of power. Yet, God always shows us that He is in control by natural disasters. Just look at the devastation that just occurred in Japan. Wow, so horrific my brain can not even comprehend the impact! The poem would say Earth is lashing out, but I would say God is lashing out. God is so powerful that often we take that for granted, me included.

Back to the poem, I could see how this poem talked about the evolution of Earth and how it all started so beautiful that we right now can not image the beauty of it. That we take the resources from the planet and use it for our own pleasure. For example, "we have fashioned sexy little earrings from the feathers, highlighted our cheekbones by rubbings from the rock." This demonstrated me quite an image with the word 'sexy', usually when you think something sexy I think lingerie or something else. The author really wants to show the selfishness in humans hearts of taking what this planet has provided for our own desires. I think it was a bit too much, but it definitely got his point across.

Some parts of the poem that got me a bit confused was the vocabulary. However, google was a great source and I looked up the words that brought more meaning and understanding to 'State of the Planet'. Such words included:

Idioms: A use of words peculiar to a particular language.
Ardor: Intense feeling of passion, love, or strong eagerness
Revulsion: Strong feeling of violent disgust
Raucous: Unpleasantly loud and harsh. Distributing public peace, loud and rough.

These words portrayed a more vivd picture of the authors point of view. I liked how biology of cells was inputted into the poem, being a science major. It's true how amazing and a 'miracle' of how cells divide and replicate and how DNA ends up making up who we are. "The curled musical ladder of sugars, acids." That is my favorite line in the poem. This to me, gives a closer look to Gods glory and amazing works!

The ending talking about death and how eventually everything will die, "We know we're going to die, to be submitted to that tingling dance of atoms once again, it's easy to feel our lives are a dream." Wow such beautiful language.. 'tingling dance of atoms'... this shows beauty in the ashes,

There is so much interpretation you can receive from this poem, such wonderful use of words that are short and to the point that pierce the meaning right to the core.

Lecture by Laura Runge

I was a bit apprehensive of attending the lecture Friday evening. However, I figured that it could not hurt to attend and since my evening was pretty much free, I went.

I enjoyed the lecture. The images that were presented were breath taking and the imagery by the language when read painted a fuller picture of the story being presented. I loved how she incorporated in her son in the adventure/project. It definitely dose take time and devotion to work one something for a whole year. This illustrates, to me, our christian walk at times. There are moments when we are too weak and to weary to go through with an action or read the Bible, but when we work hard and pull through we get amazing results. Even when it comes to studying and working hard, it usually pays off in the long run.

The little humor that Laura Runge inputted into her literature was cute and entertaining. She really had a passion for the work that she presented on nature and I could see that through her images and her reading. It was interesting to listen to her talk about how it is vital to localize literature so that we do not slip into making it a universal statement, but more of being aware of our surroundings. Throughout the lecture I was able to see that she wanted her readings/listeners to become more aware of where they are at. To understand a little bit more about their 'hometown'. In order to have a deeper appreciation of life. For life is short and one day we all will die. I liked how she presented her personal statements within the lecture and talked about life and death. For there is a time for everything, a time to be born, and a time to die. I think with that awareness we can have a deeper and/or more meaningful time in this life.

I loved how she put in family, love, and death all in one and tied it in with nature. That was refreshing and very real to hear and visualize.

Overall, this lecture gave me a different insight of Florida, being from NY. The area looks beautiful and breath taking and maybe one of these days I would love to go and explore the places the Laura Runge discussed within her lecture. For the parks look amazing and to actually be there would be an experience I could only attain for myself, not just through pictures or readings.

Reflection on the AFI trip

The field trip definitely provided me a bit of a different insight of what I expected. I was just expecting to go through the motions. However, deep inside I knew that the people at AFI would leave a bit of an imprint in my life. And they did. Their spirit and energy of life was contagious. The way the people who were there smiled and just wanted to engage in conversation. How they made you feel welcomed and appreciated that we were there made the biggest difference for me in a personal level.  They showed so much love and appreciation, that you can not help but smile and laugh with them. Granted the people we interacted were on considered in a higher level, but they still made an impact on me. In some small way they showed me abandon love.

Rereading the 30 pages of "The Boys Next Door", did give a better insight for attending the field trip. It gave me a perspective that disabled are a bit different then us, but they are human that have real feelings and hopes and dreams just as the rest of us. Just because they are in a different level on intelligence dose not make them any different. For example the relationship between Norman and Sheila reminded me of a relationship I witnessed at the AFI. There was this lady named Amber, and she was quite but picked up swiftly on things that we said (with Alyssa), and there a gentlemen who walked around to our table, can not remember his name, and was like this is my girlfriend Amber, and he had the biggest grin on his face... and Amber smiled with the biggest grin as well.  This was so precious to see people who just care about one another and not looking at anything else but to have someone who cares for them, someone who is there for them no matter what. Just like in the play when Norman accidentally sits on the flowers that Sheila brings him, and how she does not make a big deal of it but is just happy to be in the presence of Norman. The people just wanted to be accepted and be part of society.

It was interesting to witness that people with spinal bifida were there as well. Taking embryology and learning about what spinal bifida is and how people are infected illustrated that it can be any one of us in that place. God has been really working on me and opening up my eyes to different diseases and disabilities and looking beyond the physical aspect of a person, but their soul. Let me tell you these people have one of the most beautiful souls I have not seen in a long time.

The play and the essay did give a rounder and better experience on this field trip, it gave me a broader mindset and allowed me to think outside of my own understanding.  Rereading it also reassured the things that I have been processing lately of looking into the Image of God, and people who are disabled.

I want to end with this, that in my bioethics class I was reading about the disabled association, and how they stated, "that anyone of us can be in that category, we do not know what holds for us tomorrow."

Reflection on "The Spirit of God Hovered"

I would like to start off and say that his essay touched me on a deep level. It painted an image of truth and search for meaning and truth. The author was truly trying to share his story with others that people with a disability are no different then us. Just because they are not what is concerned to be 'normal' by society, dose not make them any different. Love is the key word that keeps coming to my head while I was reading this. That, this world is made of people who are ignorant and sometimes even blinded by the truth of what a disabled person is. That they are people who have a soul and have a smile and in their own small way contribute more then some of us. We often sit and complain about small stupid things, while those that are not able to accomplish simple task,s we take for granted, are one of the most happiest people out there. Who are we to say, what is normal and criticize Gods creation? God sent His only son, Jesus, to paint us a picture of love, sacrifice, and suffering. What we need to do is pray for understanding beyond our own understanding, to seek the truth. If the truth is God then that is where we should start. And if God is love then that is were we should start. It easy to say someone is different and weird and not like me, but its harder to look past our ignorance and small understanding... to think outside of our world and perceptive. I know for a fact that I am guilty of that. My prayer is that people would begin to look outside of themselves, but to Jesus, and that by looking at Jesus will understand that people with disabilities are 'marked' by God. That in some small way to contribute to the ministry of the Church.

It break my heart to read that the Pentecostal Church barely provided a helping hand. I've experienced such pain and affliction from the Pentecostal Church, maybe not necessary for a disabled person, but for someone in my family who went through a rough time and got 'kicked out' of the church because his/her actions did meet their standards. What happened to the Church being a place for broken people who are in need? Aren't we all in need? Aren't we all broken? What happened to true forgiveness and true love. When did pride begin to take over? I understand that a Church is made up of broken people who are not perfect, and I can sit and criticize the Church all I want, but it dosent change anything. What truly begins to bring change is ME, I am the one who choices to look beyond what others say and do and to choice love, and forgiveness, and seeking other needs before mine. Its through the Holy Spirit that this happens.

My heart goes out to those who have went through persecution, for in some form we all have. What I can say is, God sees everything and hears your prayers, and that through the suffering we are walking in Jesus' footsteps. That though these challenges and difficult times is when God molds us and works in us. He knows what we can handle. Even through the essay I was able to gain a different perspective of mental disabled people, and in some way in might be a ministry in itself.

The Boys Next Door (Act 2)

This was a very touching play. It really tugged at my heart and there were moments that I thought were very clever and other times that made me very sad. Very well written.

When the second act opened up with Lucien constantly practicing his lines for the senate, and when he actually spoke in front of the senate really painted a vivid picture of such his struggles and day to day challenges that a mental disabled individual(s) face. "I am retarded. I am damaged. I am sick inside from so many years of confusion, utter and profound confusion...But I will not go away. And I will not wither because the cage is too small. I am here to remind species of species. I am Lucien Percival Smith. And without me, without my shattered crippled brain, you will never again be frightened by what you have become. Or indeed, by what your future might make you"(Griffin, 52). Such profoundness and truth all at the same time. Those words penetrate in such deep meaning and cut through the core of the disease. It makes me feel and think of what my life is and how I view certain circumstances. And its true, when I see such cases of people who are mental handicapped I do thank God silently that I am not there, then I feel guilty for thinking that way.

Further in the reading, When Sheila ended up visiting Norman stood out to me as well. It really touched me how excited the two were, and how genuine their intentions were to each other; they truly liked one another. When Norman was sad about crushing the flowers that Sheila brought him and Sheila honestly did not mind showed the compassion such people have. I loved the key part, such a small and maybe to others an insignificant aspect meant the whole world to Sheila.

What truly sadden me was the fact that Barry's father was so abusive, and that his raising was so harsh. It was devastating to read how Barry's first word was 'Bitch', and that the parents were proud of that. Wow, how sad! There was one sign of hope that the father gave Barry, was that his mother truly loved him. But was that enough? The broken chocolate heart brought a lot of symbolism as well. I think Barry's heart was broken.

When Jack decided to get another Job, did not show that he wanted to leave the guys. Just deep down inside he knew he had to move one with his life. It touched me to see how the guys threw the so called surprise going away party for Jack and then it hit them all that he was leaving. The end of the play when Jack found Arnold at the station illustrated that he did not give up on the guys.

What a great read :)

The Boys Next Door (Act 1)

I found this reading to be quite enjoyable. It was a nice break from the other readings I do in my science classes. There were parts of the play that made me laugh and there were parts that I felt a bit sad for the characters.

Throughout the reading, I was able to picture the scenery and the different types of personalities that were going on. The beginning was quite entertaining and it illustrated right away what type of play this was, about people who somehow try to fit societies standards and yet stick out. At first, I was confused why Arnold was buying so many wheaties, lettuce, and charcoal briquets. Then as soon as Arnold kept repeating it over and over again, I began to realize that he had a condition that things in his brain did not connect the dots all together. I've worked with people who were mentally handicapped. Honestly, it was a very humbling experience because these people are one of the most joyful people you will ever meet. Like whatever they say or do, you know that deep down you can't blame them or truly laugh at them because they have good heart and just want to fit in. I can not imagine the struggle they go through trying to understand and comprehend things that make basic sense to us.

Jack was a man that had good intentions and he seemed to have truly cared about the characters in the play. He wanted to make them feel accepted and teach them responsibilities. For example, when Jack asked Arnold to return the things back to the store because he knew that the employees used Arnold's disability to an advantage showed that Jack wanted to truly teach the men that he looked after respect, and responsibility. Unfortunately, its a bit more easier said then done, in this case dealing with such cases.

When Jack erupted at Arnold at the dance party, illustrated that somehow we are not quite different with people who have disabilities. That deep down we are all humans, who make mistakes and have moments of weakness. That we should recognize that individuals who are not like us, necessarily, are in some way are like us... human.

Overall, very easy and entertaining read and made you laugh, smile, be sad. Very well written play so far.

Sonny's Blues by James Baldwin

From the beginning to the end I throughly enjoyed the reading. I found it to be very well written, with complexity of characters that were dynamic. I could relate to certain aspects of the reading because I have a sister who is close in age, and the relationship of siblings that runs deep.

Here are some quotations that I found, which had a deeper impression, on me, while I read the story.

"It was a special kind of ice." This quote illustrates, to me, the worries and concerns a brother may have towards his brother. Its just any kind of worry, or just say ice, but it's a special kind that has deeper meaning and depth. That only, maybe, sibling can share or even others who have family ties. That seems to be rooted in the ties between family and those we truly care about.

"I couldn't believe it; but what I mean by that is that I couldn't find any room for it anywhere inside me."
Wow dose that ring volume and speaks truth. We often want to believe that someone is something in our eyes, even though deep inside we know that they are not. How often dose our desire to have someone be a certain way and them turn out to be someone else often shows our denial about the truth? Or is it wrong to be denial in such truth if we have a perception of someone, why not keep it that way? I think it's because truth always comes out, whether we are ready for it or not, sooner or later.

"'He don't want to to die. He wants to live. Don't nobody want to die, ever.'" "I guess I was afraid of something or I was trying to escape from something and you know I have never been very strong in the head (smile)." It is true, I don't think anyone really wants to die. Now you may say, what about people who kill themselves? Well I still do not think they ever truly wanted to die. I believe it goes with the second quote, that we are trying to escape something... and, unfortunately, some people see this escape in suicide. But I do agree... something deep within us dose not ever want to die, some small installed feature.

"It's always at the hour of trouble and confrontation that the missing member aches." This depends on the context. But I can definitely see the point of view here, when we are in a point of where we are confronted and/or need help getting out of situation that we miss loved ones, or want that somebody else by our side. I do not think any man wants to be alone. For we all have our weak moments, and with such  weak or hard times its always good to have someone by you.

"And when the light fills the room, the child is filled with darkness. He knows that every time this happens he's moved closer to that darkness outside. The darkness outside is what the old folks have been talking about." That is pretty dark, and very deep emotions. It contrasts light and darkness, that sometimes when one is in the darkness they are able to hide and not have to confront the reality of what is to come in light. Pretty powerful statement, I'd say.

"..that Sonny was at a piano playing for his life." This definitely depicts the character Sonny, in a way. Music was definitely his life. It was a way where he could escape all his troubles and probably what kept  him going and maybe even to try to move forward in life with the fact he was a heroine user. It will be a constant struggle for Sonny, the heroine, because like alcoholism it will always be in your mind. From the classes I've taken and the stories I have heard, wow that stuff is pretty powerful ("It makes you feel-- in control. Sometimes you've got to have a feeling.") and the brain is a powerful tool. Nevertheless,  I think without the music Sonny's brother would not have been able to also truly understand his brother, towards the end.

I enjoyed reading how the author at the beginning did not realize why his brother, Sonny, truly loved music and wanted to make it his career. That for the brother it was hard to imagine someone wanting to do something that would not bring money, which is a logical viewpoint, per say. However, towards the end the author changed, and throughout watching Sonny perform he realized the depth and meaning of playing jazz and saw his brothers heart.

"For, while the tale of how we suffer, and how we are delighted, and how we may triumph in never new, it always must be heard. There isn't a tale to tell, it's the only light we've got in all this darkness."
This sums up a lot. Paints a view that in order to overcome our suffering we need to have someone listen! Yeah, wow so true. Just like how he said we want to be in darkness and not in light, well I would tie that without always be in the dark we need to share.

"Then he put it back on top of the piano (symbolized his life). For me, then, as they began to play again, it glowed and shook above my brother's head like the very cup of trembling."

Isaiah 51:17,22 "Awake, awake! Rise up, O Jerusalem, you who have drunk from the hand of the LORD the cup of his wrath, you who have drained to its dregs the goblet that makes men stagger." "This is what your Sovereign LORD says, your God, who defends his people: "See, I have taken out of your hand the cup that made you stagger; from that cup, the goblet of my wrath, you will never drink again."

A Grief Observed- Chp 3-4

These last two chapters were presented in a different light, then the first two. I found them to be a sort of more of putting the pieces together of the confusion and hurt and pain that comes along with losing a loved one. I rather enjoyed how the author was trying to understand and yet admit things that are deeply rooted in him. I agree that this book is rather poetic, and illustrates different view points are that rooted within an individual.

"Feelings, and feelings, and feelings. Let me try thinking instead." This shows me that the author was really starting to just not go off emotion, but to try to put into perspective of what happened and/or is happening. That we are human, and not matter what we know and how we are suppose to feel and think dose not necessary match up all the time. Its like the saying that the heart dose not want what the brain is saying. Sometimes those spheres do not match up.

"And you will never discover how serious it was until the stakes are raised horribly high, until you find that you are playing not for counters or for sixpences but for every penny you have in the world. Nothing less will shake a man--or at any rate a man like me-- out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture dose he discover himself." Wow is that true! We sometimes think we have everything figured out, but in reality do we? How do we know what we will truly do, until there is no other option. I can relate, maybe not in loosing a loved one such as a significant other. But by feeling extreme physical/emotional pain through someones words and actions that hits you like a double edged sword through your heart that literally hurts physically. And you have to stand and choice whether you should forgive them or not. Its easy to sit in pity and dwell on 'poor me, and how i don't deserve this,' but in the end those feelings are ultimately yours and no matter what you are the one living with them daily. So if you don't make a choice to love and to forgive and to grow then you hinder yourself and you stay in that state. That is why I also like how the author talked about God being a surgeon, who dosent leave you cut open and leave you. Wow how amazing is that! He is a sculpture that is constantly molding and sculpting us. He dose not do it for himself, but for our sakes!

The way the author connected that the pictures and memories are not what make H. alive for him, just like pictures and images are not what make God alive for us. Wow I never put it in that perspective, and how that rings volume.

The ending of how when his wife said "I am in peace with God", illustrates depth that shows that she is ready, and not wanting to suffer anymore. That she says it more for herself, because often we express our feelings and/or emotions, don't we feel better from it? while the other person just sits in compassion and/or pity not truly understanding?

My trip to Roselawn Cemetry

I, Nataliya, went to the Roselawn cemetery complex and stayed for at least 40 minutes.

This is a tombstone of  a child. It truly touched me and sadden my heart.

I found this vase filled with sand and dirt to be rather symbolic. One can draw many different conclusions and ideas from such an image. 

This cemetery was rather old and yet it was quite, peaceful, but looked for sad...

Painting from book of Joel

I drew this painting based off of the following verse. Joel 2:22 "..For the open pastures are springing up, And the tree bears its fruit; The fig tree and the vine yield their strength."

This painting represents the tree bearing, fruit, and the vine of grapes as an illustrations. The colors within demonstrate the amazingness of Gods creation with His spirit dwelling with it, by the colors of beauty and wonder.

A Grief Observed- Chp 1-2

While reading a grief observed I could not help but think of the depth of pain and the rawness of the writing that was presented throughout the first two chapters. I agree with how the author said that death is like fear, a pit in your stomach feeling. That it truly never gets better every time. It was a devastating to learn that he lost most people he was close to died by cancer, three people to be exact. I agree that once someone is going through that pain, no one can really comprehend that pain because they are not in that person's body. That your body is where you feel the most emptiness and loneliness, not places or locations where the person enjoyed going. One quote that stood out to me the most is, "You can't really share someone else's weakness, or fear or pain. What you feel may be bad" (Lewis 13). 

Death is an odd thing to deal with, and the things that were written shared real emotions. For example, the not feeling God close by and being an embarrassment to his kids. The laziness that ones wake by not wanting to go on with daily activities. We can sit here and say and try to explain how we feel and the different stages that one goes through when discussing death it becomes a bit depressing. And in a way it makes you think about life and the value of it. Whats our purpose here on earth? Where are we really going? These are real questions on peoples hearts. 

I liked how the author talked about Faith, and when we are in that situation that we think we have confidence in, like the rope, but once presented with that situation where is our confidence?! and/or faith?! Wow is true and powerful. You really don't know what you would do in certain situations until you are presented with them. We can sit and judge others based off of what we think is right or wrong, and how when should react. But until we have walked in that person shoes we can not truly now the affect and the deep meaning behind it all. So who are we to say what is the right and or wrong thing to do? who are we to say that a persons feelings/emotions are right and wrong. Or even their actions/thoughts. For we can only know our own body and how we perceive and/or react to different situations. 

I would tie this reading with story with "Darkness, Questions, Poetry and Spiritual Hope." For it talked about Death and the questions that I was pondering while reading C.S. Lewis "a grief observed. That without such pain, loneliness, and emptiness we can not know what love, joy, happiness brings us. That life is a cycle with mysteries. 

The Book of Joel- Images

There are several different images throughout the reading that I came across and found to be striking, and created a wonderful picture to me.

As previously stated in my last blog the quote, "They run like mighty men, They climb the wall like soldiers; Nor do they deviate from their paths. They do not crowd each other, They March everyone in his path; When they burst through the defenses, They do not break ranks." This paints the image of devotion to me and true determination. With the repeated words of 'They" illustrates that the author's imagery and vitality of the importance that there was not just one individual marching for God, but that there are many people involved. This shows me that we are not alone, that there are people who are after God, and will walk/march though anything in order to get across. 

Another quote which paints a picture with words is as follows, "Do not fear, beasts of the field, For the pastures of the wilderness have turned green, For the tree has borne its fruit, The fig tree and the vine have yielded in full." What an illustration that makes the mind wonder, beauty with nature. When we did the activity of going outside and reading out loud to the nature, I kept repeating these lines because the image was right in front of me to a certain degree. It became more real to me and gave me a glimpse of Gods amazing glory and love. How truly wonderful and breath taking is His creation. His works and wonders I stand in awe. I don't think we could have a better artist the God, who created everything. As a tree that bears fruit is a beautiful image that can be tied into so many different imagery. Such as, a women bearing a child, it starts small and grows into something beautiful-- a human being. Gods creation of imagery is written all throughout The Bible and in our lives on a daily basis.

Lastly, the lines that painted another picture are, "The mountains will drip with sweet wine, And the hills will flow with milk, And all the brooks of Judah will flow with water; And a spring will go out from the house of the LORD To water the valley of Shittim." This gives a very metaphorical illustration. This image is something beyond what we can picture physically. Which leaves room in our brain for imagination to take over and to wonder how sweet wine can be dripping from mountains. It almost sounds like paradise, sometimes better then the reality we are  living in. Or is our reality just a simple sliver of the truth? hmmm, makes you wonder...

The book of Joel is very beautiful, simple, complex, mysterious, illustrative, breath taking, scary, and so much more...

Joel- Sound Most Beautiful Words

While reading the book of Joel I cam across several lines that rang beauty in my ears and spoke profoundly to my heart. They gave me a glimpse of our amazing true God.

In Chapter 2 the lines are as follows, "The and is like the garden of Eden before them, but a desolate wilderness behind them, and nothing at all escapes them." For me that shows that if we earnestly walk in the path of Jesus that ahead of us there sands the garden, but if we go back their is wilderness which gives loneliness, confusion, being lost and trying to find a way... when then only true way is Jesus. How profound is that?!
Another quote that attends to running after Gods glory and victory which paint a beautiful picture for me are as follows, "They run like mighty men, They Climb the wall like soldiers; and they each march in line, nor do they deviate from their paths. They do not crowd each other, They march everyone in his path" Wow I love the last two lines where they do no crowd and march in his path. That speaks that Gods kingdom is for everyone and there is not crowding, that ALL are welcomed with openness. Also the eagerness/determination to continue to marching for God shows commitment which will be rewarded.

Another quote which sounded beautiful to me is "The day of the LORD is indeed great and very awesome". Also another quote to go along with that beauty is, "For He is gracious and compassionate, Slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness and relenting of evil." Now that makes me want to march in that line for Him! Just saying.

I just want to end with this beautiful quote, which demonstrates a true and perfect God who is SO GOOD. "Do not fear, O land, rejoice and be glad, for the LORD has done GREAT THINGS!"

The Colonel by Carolyn Forche

While reading both poems I contemplated which one to write about. They both seemed a bit depressing.

The Colonel made me feel disgusted inside while reading it. Reading the authors headnote gave me a better understanding to the way the poem was written.  I honestly think it was written very well. It definitely illustrated her point of view across in a very image oriented way.  The way Carolyn places violent images with ordinary images makes the colonial house a scary place. I honestly would not want to be there, no thank you. When she discusses how the general gets out an ordinary bag that holds groceries in them with a bag of ears that were like dried peach halves. Now that paints an image. An image that is disturbing in my ways. I think this has something to do with the way the general treated the people. Its pretty violent if you ask me. The story if about El Salvador I believe from reading the headnote. What I get from Carolyns perspective is how human rights are violated by the country and/or the general. Basically not giving them the opportunity to hear. However, some ears do hear. No matter the violence a country places on their people, someone will always hear it and news we spread. Even if those that heard it are no longer living. Now that is pretty powerful to me. The ears being dropped also shows that through the violence people are sometimes forced to listen and others just refuse by being 'pressed to the ground'.  Maybe that means that they are in denial about the violence or that the violence has forced them to be silenced. Not quite sure I can not definitely see it in different perspectives.  I think it definitely has a big role to do with human rights and somehow the word "english" indicates to me that americans were involved somehow and/or had an influence on such rights.

well those are my.

Special Post #1

Just Coffee

            He’d said that we should have coffee only at Starbucks because the environment was just right. Because that environment invites room for open conversation.

            On evening after ordering an Americano with two pumps of white mocha, and a caramel macchiato with glass mugs, we sit down on two dark blue beat-up sofas with the hot drinks in our hands. Roberto is careful not to spill his drink while the steam ascends slowly in the air; with slight glances toward me to make sure I am as careful with my drink. We sit down with ease, while the raining is pouring outside hitting the windows with an irregular pattern that plays a melodic tune.

The café is playing soft music by Jason Mraz echoing slightly across the room; with a few people spread out sporadically, reading novels or engaged in their conversations.

These coffee outings have been occurring randomly throughout the summer months ahead. For some reason this coffee outing was a bit different. I could feel it.

            Roberto begins by asking generic questions with a slight smile. His tan skin illuminates his smile with even more brilliance. His suit looks flawless on his athletic 24-year-old body, the blue color making his tan stand out even more. His dark wavy hair is flowing gently lying across his forehead. He was breath taking, any girl would agree.

            “How have you been Mary?” I look up with eagerness, and with a big smile say “Great!” Professing that things couldn’t be better. I continue to babble on endlessly about how I got a promotion in my job and I feel like I am finally moving up in the world. I begin to twirl my finger around my blonde hair, looking directly into Roberto’s eyes. His eyes are filled with joy by looking intently into my dull blue eyes. Oh, if only he knew that I got up extra hour early to curl hair with a few bobby pins placed softly to the side and put on four different outfits struggling with which one to wear. That I work extra hard on my job, and do extra activities so that I can be at his level of determination.

            Roberto slight smile turns into a grin that lights up my heart.

            Now Roberto is a man who believes that things in life are never handed to you. That hard work equals success, and that failure is never an option. He grew up with a mother and father who worked very hard and had nice things. His mother barely worked and his father would bring in the income for the family.

            Roberto reacts with equal the enthusiasm to match mine. He has a way of making my big accomplishments seem the best. I wonder how he is about the small accomplishments in my life?

He then goes on quickly about his job.

“Mary you know this week has been really tough on me, I feel like I am constantly getting pushed down.” Then as soon as he finishes, he inputs, “But you know what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” 

I nodded my head and smiled. “Roberto you are being to rough on yourself…” (Roberto interrupts)

“I know, I know Mary, people don’t realize that what I am selling to them helps them in the long run. Everyone needs life insurance. It’s hard to call people all the time and have people promise to meet with you and then stand you up.”

I look up with compassion in my eyes, and proclaim that his hard work is not going in vain. He continues to go back and forth explaining how people stand him up and leaves him empty handed. Then backs up that this is part of the job that he signed up for and needs to work harder.

He would take days where he would loose sleep over his job/clients. All his life he has been told that you need to work hard and play later. He always was working for something. When he completed one goal, he was unto the next. Always thinking, always planning. I felt as if my accomplishments were small.

 With concern and watching Roberto battle inside, I sit back and say, “Honestly it sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself more than trying to convince me.”

His face drops, and his eyes fall to the floor. “Yeah maybe I am,” Roberto quietly whispers. He quickly shifts the conversation by asking me about my future plans.

“Well I am still waiting to hear back from medical schools to see whether I have been accepted or not.”

“How long will you be in medical school?” questions Roberto with lowered eyebrows.

“Another four years, and then I have to residency!” I explain with much delight.

“Oh, wow that is very long.” He proclaims with disappointment in his voice.

            As soon as those words leave Roberto’s mouth, I knew that this is the last time I will see him. 

            “You’re not the first guy to tell me that.” I said looking to the side and then straight into his eyes. I couldn’t believe this has happening all over again. It was like déjà vu with the others. What I do is not enough or it was too much, I wondered to myself slightly.

“How are things with that girl… Gloria is her name?”

            Roberto’s eyes sadden and his shoulders slouch down, ”Unfortunately we are not together anymore.” My heart and everything within me shattered like broken glass falling into a million pieces. Who uses the word unfortunately when discussing an ex? I thought to myself. I knew deep inside he was not over her, and that he was not ready for me. I had to stay composed.

            He goes on, “We still remain in contact and she is a very good friend of mine.”

From that point on I knew that this would be our last coffee date together and he would not contact me again anytime soon. Its what the other men did.

            “Do you see yourself getting back together with her in the future?” I ask with uneasiness in my voice.

            “Honestly, Mary, I can not answer that for I do not know what the future holds.”

“Okay…” My voice drifts in the distance as we look down into our now empty glass mugs.

Notes on Character- This Blessed House

The character that I wanted to emphasize my attention was Twinkle.  Looking through the character report and re-reading the story gave me a different angle to take this story.

First, I'll begin with the physical description. Twinkle seemed to be an average size and a beautiful lady. "'Your wife's wow'". Also, the way the flowers in her hair were described gave a sense of who she was, free-spirited.

Throughout the reading I picked up on different things here and there. Like the things Twinkle would say to Sanjeev showed that she kept her way of thinking and did not let little things bother her. However, unless they are taken away. When Sanjeev threatened to get ride of the Jesus Statue outside created an outburst that was not expected of such a chipper character. But it showed her vulnerability, desire to have things go her way. Sanjeev was shocked, I can't say I was really shocked by her response. She seemed more attached to the christian objects then her husband. Maybe it was her way of replacing the things that her heart longed for from her husband by such items that gave her a hunt for treasure, and happiness in a way.

Another character observation I can make is the way she entertained the guest that came. Her main task was to make the people feel comfortable and she was very talkative. The guest seem to respond better to Twinkle then her husband did. Her husband was more judgmental of his so-called friends, that he was shocked when they brought gifts. However, Twinkle talked the guest like she has known them for years. She didn't seem to mind what people thought of her house, and took each moment and talked about it. 

Twinkles thoughts seemed to around the house and the objects she kept finding. This shows to me that if she was not the type of women to enjoy her life and make the most of it. Relax when need be, and entertain. She did not cook yet or really clean. But she did once in a blue moon. When she made that dish from the vinegar. It seemed more like she made that dish to prove to Sanjeev that she said she was going to use the vinegar and did. Once again it showed how Sanjeev was surprised about how good the dish was, showed his low expectations on people and even his wife.

Overall, these characters are complex and have so many layers just like an onion. But doesn't everyone have such layers?

"This Blessed House"

Reading the headnote of Jhumpa Lahiri gave me a different insight on the story 'This Blessed House.' Due to the reason that I was born in Ukraine and have been raised in the States most of my life while speaking two distinct languages and learning two different cultures. Whenever I would go back to Ukraine to visit my family, they would always call me 'american' and whenever I am in the States people call me 'ukrainian'. Therefore in a sense I can relate to the two different cultures Jhumpa was discussing.

This was clearly illustrated in 'This Blessed House.' While Sanjeev was stuck in his values or say religion in this story, his wife, Twinkle, was willing to embrace her surroundings of the house having 'christian' items that clashed with their 'hindu' beliefs. This showed Twinkle as someone who is free-spirited and embracing her surroundings. By letting whatever situation she was presented with be the coolest thing ever and love every single moment. Sanjeev was a bit stuck in his ways. He was concerned of what others thought of him, and the lifestyle he lead. He did not think very highly of the people in his life, he was comfortable and liked order. Twinkle definitely challenged his old bachelor years of not being married by being someone he did consider wife material. I loved that she would go out for 3 hours and get a medicure and pedicure, my type of girl. He even questioned if he truly loved his wife. I found that to be quite interesting and rather quite normal to due in a marriage. We often do question our surroundings, and the situations we are in. If we didn't then you are perfect, and well since no one is perfect then there you go.

I liked how his wife was the star of their party, and everyone felt like she was an amazing women. That showed me why Sanjeev had picked this women out of all the women he could have chosen, her spirit and charisma drew him in, and looks did play a role as well.
When she cried and how he reacted demonstrated his love for his wife.

"He thought of her slipping them on her feet. But instead of feeling irritated, as he had ever since they'd moved into the house together, he felt pang of anticipation at the thought of her rushing unsteadily down the winding staircase in them, scratching the floor a bit in her path." Now that shows me his heart and that he dose love this women.

It was quite a neat story.

Why Read Literature

While reading the three short stories assigned, I began to ponder life and what it truly means to read. I found myself agreeing with most of the readings and began to recognize, to a certain degree, why literature is vital in our lives.

The beginning of 'Why Read Literature' began with my full attention. I find exercising to be an important part of our daily life, and enjoyed how the author made a correlation of the vitality of literature as being as important as exercising. Reading expands out knowledge and increases our surroundings. It opens up worlds that we would not dare open. It gives us a plug to a world beyond our own eyes. The story about Malcolm X is amazing. That he let reading be his escape from being in the person. Wow. I liked the quote, "We are not mere empty receptacles ready to be filled with information, but living beings who are inspired by literary encounters to explore and transform ourselves." To me that resounds volume because of the profession I am pursuing, medicine. It demonstrates that through my studies are not just information but a tool to equip me with the right attire to transform lives and in a way to be transformed myself.
"Literature allows us to 'get over ourselves' and for a moment, at least, enter into another's vision and perspective." I completely agree with this quotation because it demonstrates to me how I view readings that inspire, teach, change, mold, challenge my thinking.

'Reading for Transformation' was very intriguing to many different angles. I enjoyed how the piece talked about reading The Bible, and what one may attain from such a reading. "When we pray with poetry, whether the biblical poetry of the psalms or non-biblical poetry open to Christian appropriation, we open ourselves to the possibility of spiritual experience." This explains to me why The Word is alive today, that it is the our daily bread. Because though the word of God we are somehow transformed and become open for God to reveal things in us through the Holy Spirit he bestows unto us. Neat.
I enjoyed how the author discussed that a poem touches us on a deep level that is expands our understanding. That is true, even in that passage it expanded my horizon of literature meaning.

The reading 'Darkness, Questions, Poetry and Spiritual Hope' was really quite a different way to look at hope and spirituality. A way that I have not really looked before as being death. I can relate to the author. How can we know pain, suffering, loneliness without experiencing it. WIthout such death, we can not know love, joy, and happiness. We would be live like empty shells walking around. I do agree that in our daily walk we need to be aware of things around us and to step in a be a part of what the author would consider 'death' which is things we don't want to talk about or discuss because the sadden us and give us grief. In a way its like without such death how could we be alive. How could life have meaning and hope. "To live without any awareness of it all is death pure and simple--even one may still be walking around smelling perfect." Wow that is so true. Ignorance only gets us so far, but true life is awareness of what is going on. Sometimes pain and the actions of others causes scares in our hearts that remain but without such pain that is sometimes knife deep we can not experience true forgiveness and sacrifice without having gone through it.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

The story by Raymond Carver, was pretty interesting the way it started. About love being violent and selfish in a way. When Terri kept talking about her ex abusing her physically and emotionally demonstrated his love for her is a big lie. How can that by any means define love. That sounds like complete selfishness to me and when someone kills themselves they are being selfish by taking their own life with no regard to others around them being affected. To me that sounds likes someone with complete psychological issues that are deeply rooted in a messed up way of not truly understanding love. People say that you hurt those that you love, but the way her ex husband abused her was way passed love it was more selfishness to fulfill his needs that were not being meant by Terri in some sick and twisted way. It sadness me that she still thinks that he loved her in a way. Maybe to her to think that way gives her peace that he killed himself by coping with his death with an excuse called love. Whatever it was, she was definitely deeply affected more than physically.

As the story progressed the people continued to get more drunk and the subject of love began to twist in different ways. Its interesting when people drink they often do not have a filter and spill whatever they are thinking. What was also something to consider was the authors story of him being a drunk in some way ties to how the story is written.

When Mel talked about how people come and go and yet we still find someone else to love. And even if we loved someone once we find that we hate them later in the future. It really dose have truth to it to a certain degree. Because we as humans find love by feeling with our emotions, and often our emotions are what guide us in our actions and directions. So I can see from that perspective what Mel is trying to come across.

Yet, throughout the reading I could not help but wonder to myself how God would play a role in love. For God is Love, and if God is love then love must be perfect. But we are humans and we fall short of the glory of God, so therefore we fall from that perfect love. Thus, no matter what circumstances we are presented with we must turn to God because in His perfect love he has grace that is sufficient for things we do not deserve and we can learn how to love. For true love is sacrifice, not prideful, or jealous, love dose not envy or boost, dose no evil, but delights in the good. So if we walk in Gods love then thru the Holy Spirit God teaches us what love is, patient, kind. Wow that to me is powerful.

Back to the story, it was interesting about the old couple and how the old man became depressed that he could not 'look' at his wife. It showed, to me, that he did truly cared for her in a way that everything revolved around this women. But i think the fact hat she was alive should have given him hope of seeing her and give him will power to stay strong for her. But who am I to say whether his depression was out of love, or something else. Love is something we humans try to truly understand and grasp what is. We spend most of our lives searching for it because in a way we are searching for God because He is LOVE. Since he created us out of love then somehow we seek it earnestly, for God said it is not good for man to be alone.

Active Reading on Literature

While reading 'active reading on literature' it began to explain different type of reading styles. For me personally that is pretty vital as being a reading due to the fact there are so many different angles one can look at reading. I found it very interesting about asking questions while you are reading. Often, at times, I catch myself asking questions when I read a piece of literature. My main question usually in the beginning of most literature that I read, listen to, write about. I like to know the source of where the author is coming from in order to have a solid foundation of what the reading is about.

Also, imagery is very important on how the piece of literature is written. It truly affects a persons emotions and feelings. As well as someone telling me a story. I have a friend back home that whenever she tells you anything makes it seem like its the best or worse thing EVER! She uses so much repetition, dialogue, imagery, emotions that you can not help but be drawn into her story. Often though, I think she over exaggerates on her stories, but don't we all to a certain extreme exaggerate a story when it comes from a different source? Honestly even if she dose over exaggerate the stories they are pretty darn good.

I liked how jotting down notes on the side and underlining was repeated throughout the reading. It showed me the vitality of such a task not only when going back and re-reading passages but just the mental note of such a task. During my devotionals I LOVE to underline and jot down notes because it truly helps me remember and when I look back at the reading I can find my favorite passages very quickly.

The Story of An Hour, I liked the noting on the side. For example "aquiver with a new spring life" is very descriptive, and if it was not noted on the side of the paper I would read past it. But with importance to the detail makes the piece more visual.

Poetry is very intrigued, it can speak so much in such little spacing and wording. Sometimes the quality of wording in a song or poems is WAY better then the quantity in literature and even in other factors of life. It speaks profound meanings. Going off a tangent I noticed a lot of songs are repetitive and repetition truly makes you remember and thus making the song pretty catchy. Sweet. Sometimes though repetition can be very annoying and you have a song stuck in your head that will just not go away. Just like not end this blog might be annoying to you ;) (just kidding).


Signing off,
Nataliya

Literary Profile

My earliest memory of literature was I was about 5 to 6 years old. My mother would always read The Children's Bible to me before bedtime. I was intrigued by it because of the way my mother read the stories to me. I loved looking behind her shoulder and at the illustrations that were on the pictures that went along with the stories. I enjoyed every moment of it more because I think my mother spent time with me and the fact that she was very engaged at what she read.

My Most recent memory of literature has been through my coursework and through my job as a pharmacy technician that I had before I came to SEU as a transfer student. While working I would read endless articles of the new and up coming medicine and different techniques the medical world is having an impact on today's society. My most memorable article was about how customers would approach the pharmacy being ignorant and naive. For example, it would say "can you please fill my white pill" or "can you fill all my medication". Its like wow are you serious people, do you now recognize what type of medicine you are taking and what it is for. It honestly makes you giggle inside reading that article, but unfortunately it is very true to many degrees. You would not believe how many people say 'can I have my white pill filled' or even ask to fill all of their medication. My classic response would be 'unfortunately sir/mam you need to tell what this medication is because if I make a mistake of filling a medication that you do not need I would be liable'.

Literature has been a big part of my life for a long time. My high school years were spent countlessly reading books and getting engulfed by the world books. It was my escape from reality and in sense an escape from my problems. I love reading fiction novels, stories about love, danger, power, heros, friendships, relationships. I was saturated and deeply loved reading. There would be days in and out that I would not leave my room just to finish a book.

When I began college in 2005 things began to change a little, I was more into going out with friends and exploring my freedom of being away from home. I did of course have to read for class but my endless summer day readings were shortened.

My favorite literary piece that I have read was "Captivating", I loved the story of what a womens heart is about. It gave me a better understanding of being a female. I read the book a few years back and it still remains with me to this day.

What I understood from Professor Corrigan's essay about this course, is that he truly wants his students to engage in the classroom, to think beyond just reading, to explore and discover who they are and somehow shape and change his students lives for the better. He wants people to do their work and do it well. To make an effort not just to get a good grade in the course, but to make an effort to do well in order to enrich their own lives. By enriching our lives we will and in some small part have enriched Professor Corrigan's life.

Lets see where this journey takes us.