A Grief Observed- Chp 3-4

These last two chapters were presented in a different light, then the first two. I found them to be a sort of more of putting the pieces together of the confusion and hurt and pain that comes along with losing a loved one. I rather enjoyed how the author was trying to understand and yet admit things that are deeply rooted in him. I agree that this book is rather poetic, and illustrates different view points are that rooted within an individual.

"Feelings, and feelings, and feelings. Let me try thinking instead." This shows me that the author was really starting to just not go off emotion, but to try to put into perspective of what happened and/or is happening. That we are human, and not matter what we know and how we are suppose to feel and think dose not necessary match up all the time. Its like the saying that the heart dose not want what the brain is saying. Sometimes those spheres do not match up.

"And you will never discover how serious it was until the stakes are raised horribly high, until you find that you are playing not for counters or for sixpences but for every penny you have in the world. Nothing less will shake a man--or at any rate a man like me-- out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture dose he discover himself." Wow is that true! We sometimes think we have everything figured out, but in reality do we? How do we know what we will truly do, until there is no other option. I can relate, maybe not in loosing a loved one such as a significant other. But by feeling extreme physical/emotional pain through someones words and actions that hits you like a double edged sword through your heart that literally hurts physically. And you have to stand and choice whether you should forgive them or not. Its easy to sit in pity and dwell on 'poor me, and how i don't deserve this,' but in the end those feelings are ultimately yours and no matter what you are the one living with them daily. So if you don't make a choice to love and to forgive and to grow then you hinder yourself and you stay in that state. That is why I also like how the author talked about God being a surgeon, who dosent leave you cut open and leave you. Wow how amazing is that! He is a sculpture that is constantly molding and sculpting us. He dose not do it for himself, but for our sakes!

The way the author connected that the pictures and memories are not what make H. alive for him, just like pictures and images are not what make God alive for us. Wow I never put it in that perspective, and how that rings volume.

The ending of how when his wife said "I am in peace with God", illustrates depth that shows that she is ready, and not wanting to suffer anymore. That she says it more for herself, because often we express our feelings and/or emotions, don't we feel better from it? while the other person just sits in compassion and/or pity not truly understanding?